“Get a better job,” they said.

Suddenly, every custodian everywhere quits their job and gets a better one. Now, upon entering public restrooms, everyone is handed a spray bottle and toilet brush, because now they have to scrub their own shit out of that public porcelain throne. Women’s restrooms come complete with plastic bags, because they have to bring their soiled period products home with them and dispose of them at home, because there is no more public waste removal.

“Get a better job,” they said.

All fast food employees quit and find a “better job”. No more fast food places! There also aren’t any restaurants. Better learn to cook your own shitty garbage burgers. You have only yourself to yell at if you forget the cheese.

“Get a better job,” they said.

Retail stores no longer have any employees. All shopping must be done online, but you have to drive out and pick up the supplies yourself because the Fedex people quit and got better jobs, too.

“Just get a better job,” they said!

You now have to grow and make every single thing you ever consume for the rest of your life, because no one wants to do it for you at $7 an hour.

Fuck you.