all Bucky wanted to do was get some more tea and now this. Thanks a lot, Sam. You had to fuckin’ tell him, you ass.
Aggressively Progressive Steve Rogers is so what I’m here for.
STeve would unleash and be all “DO YOU KNOW HOW MUCH WHOOPING COUGH SUCKS?! DO YOU?! DO YOU REALLY?! ARE YOU FUCKIN’ STUPID?! BUCKY, TELL THEM HOW I BROKE TWO RIBS! TELL THEM!”
Omg, new headcanon, Beleaguered Bucky Barnes being grabbed by the shoulders and practically lifted into camera view by Steve shouting about how Bucky needs to confirm some terrible illness because no one else is alive form that time to corroborate any of Steve’s claims. Bucky shyly telling the reporters that yes, Steve did indeed have that thing adn yeah it is dangerous and Steve jumping back into frame like “I told you! I TOLD YOU IT SUCKED SHUT UP JENNY MCCARTHY!”
“AND YOU KNOW WHAT ELSE?! POLIO!”
“Steve you never had fucking polio-”
“YEA BUT IT STILL SUCKED! KNOW WHAT STOPPED IT?! VACCINES!”
“Oh my God, Steve.”
“I DIDN’T EVNENKNOW WHAT THAT SHOT WOULD DO TO ME BUT I TOOK IT!”
“Steve, that’s… That’s not really a good argument.”
“I DON’T CARE FOX NEWS NEEDS TO STOP USING MY IMAGE!”
“Steve, doll, calm down.”
“I VOTED FOR OBAMA!”
I would love to see Steve at a press conference go “It’s been brought to my attention that there’s a certain idea of what kind of symbol I am for certain positions so I’d like to clear a few things up. *clears throat*
Capitalism sucks, no human is illegal, STOP BEING RACIST, muslims are not terrorists, women can have all the sex they want and that’s none of your business, homeless people are NOT criminal, vaccinations should be mandatory, I’m a flaming bisexual and I should be able to marry who I want and not worry about getting fired for it, rapists should be shot, people should be able to live off of their income without working 3 jobs, and access to appropriate healthcare should be a right not a privilege. Thank you. Oh, and one last thing-
*looks camera dead on with a totally flat expression* Fuck fuckity fuck fuck.” *shuffles papers and walks away leaving stunned silence behind him*
reminder to self to draw that also, complete with reaction shots of all the Avengers
HEADCANON WHERE STEVE ONLY KNOWS ABOUT PEGGY BECAUSE OF TONY. TONY VISITS PEGGY TOO, ONCE A MONTH AT LEAST. WHENEVER HE COMES IN SHE ALWAYS GLEAMS BUT ALWAYS SAYS “Howard. What a nice surprise.”
Imagine My Immortal but written in the style of Shakespeare.
SCENE 1. A MAGIC SCHOOL CALLED HOGWARTS IN ENGLAND
Enter ENOBY
ENOBY
For truth, that which the gods have christened me Has many parts, like these locks, flow’n from my crown. That hellish sound, which forms mine name, sprung from The dusky shades of these roots, so like the stone But broken, rent, mottled; for, like the flames That hie from Hades, the dusk is split with peals Of cold violet, the shade of icy fangs Met with military scarlet; coils not But hangs; not ragged, but lustrous, set off Like a precious jewel made more pure by the Barren winds of silent winter deserts, So are not these jewels of mine own self-crown Brought forth in splendour so close to these eyes Frozen, as glaciers, forged by an artist Who, bereft of artisan tools, gives himself And sculpts his godly business with that Which the muses draw blindly from his vision. Thus sorrow, reflected twice in these mirrors, Casting mine eyes as icy limpid tears.
Imagine Shakespeare but written in the style of My Immortal
Hi my name is Hamlet and I have long blond hair that reaches my mid-back and icy blue eyes like limpid tears and a lot of people tell me I look like the sun god Apollo (AN: if u don’t know who he is get da hell out of here!). I’m not related to him but I wish I was because he’s a major fucking hottie. My mother married my uncle after my father died. I have pale white skin. I’m also a student, and I went to a school called Wittenberg in Germany but I just graduated. I’m a prince (in case you couldn’t tell) but I wear mostly black bc I’m in mourning. I For example today I was wearing a black doublet with matching lace around it and a black tights, white undershirt and black boots. I was with my mother and Horatio. We were standing inside Elsinore. It was snowing and raining so there was no sun, which I was very happy about. My uncle Claudius stared at me. I put up my middle finger at him.
what did vincent say when he lost his car in the parking lot
“where did my van gogh”
the correct pronunciation of “gogh” is “goff”, you uncultured swine
fuck gogh
Well actually, British people pronounce it “goff” and American people pronounce it “go” and unfortunately, both are wrong. Vincent Van Gogh is dutch so his name is actually pronounced “van KHOCK” so suck my gogh
Random Toughts 