toppysammy

I’VE HAD ENOUGH

Small child: Ms. Megan, I like you

Me: Oh yeah, why’s that?

Small child: because you don’t have any bones

Me, trying not to laugh: what?

Small child, sighing wistfully: Yeah, when you hug Ms. Jen, she’s got too many bones. You don’t have any, and that’s nice.

etrianexplorer:

schmault-tec:

siderealsandman:

I had a dream Guy Fieri survived the nuclear apocalypse as a ghoul and roamed the world in a suit of flaming red power armor looking for the wasteland’s greatest diners drive ins and dives

@the-amazing-weeaboo-man @ad-victoriam-sister

fakehistory:

the shape of water receives praise from both audiences and critics alike, even managing to win best picture (2017) (colourised)

royal-mortician:

opposite of depression nap. depression awakeness. refreshing the same three websites over and over. there’s nothing new on any of them. eight seconds have passed and it feels like a century

slutformisha:

un-feuilly-de-papier:

un-feuilly-de-papier:

What do french people call a really bad thursday?

a trajeudi

update: if you tell this joke to someone living in france they will refuse to look at you

mgs3:

me:ok time to go and look at my college stuff that i have to do becaues its college

college: words

me:

EXTREMELY TMI DREAM SORRY DON’T CLICK

Dreamt that I was in a HUGE Jacuzzi at the very top of the Eiffel tower. In said Jacuzzi, I pegged Zac Efron with a neon pink strap-on. He was diggin’ it

lookerdewitt replied to your post:
When your dad says that he’s going to start…

Let’s beat up each other’s dads

LET’S DO IT