Hi I’ll be auditioning for the role of Remus Lupin and I’ll be singing “Empty Chairs at Empty Tables” from Les Mis.
Tag: harry potter
severus snape: james potter’s cruelty and humiliation really scarred me for life lmfao what are you doing neville you useless piece of 11 year old shit everyone lets laugh at neville OHHH OHHH MY GOD LOOK AT THIS 11 YEAR OLD NEGLECTED PARENTLESS NERD HARRY HE THINKS HES SO GREAT AND HE JUST RUINED THE THIRD POTION HES EVER MADE LMFAO WOW james potter was so cruel he was the devil
“omg i love Harry! his British accent is so cute!”
THAT RED THING IS CALLED HARRY?
oi mate “that red thing” is a member of the royal family
How did Harry Potter get down the hill?
by walking
jk rowling
American Sorting Hat, which is just a beat up baseball cap: aight bro by the most righteous magics bestowed upon me i’ve scoped out ur brain and ur house is uh….. DRAGON ALPHA SIGMA DONG!!! lol
wizard bros of dragon alpha sigma dong: YOOOOOOOOOOOO
freshman wizard: *crowdsurfs*
Imagine McGonagall giving Hagrid another chance after the war
Imagine his eyes welling up with tears when he gets to exchange his umbrella for a wand.
IMAGINE HIM SITTING EAGERLY AMONG A CLASS OF SCARED FIRST YEARS
And he gets his letter from an owl.
And Harry takes him shopping for school in Diagon alley, to return the favor.
NOPE FUCKING CRYING
May I offer you a cough drop, Dolores?
Hypothetically: A Oneshot
James’ stomach churned as he approached Professor McGonagall’s office. He drew up his strength and knocked on the door.
“Enter!”
James nearly ran for it.
In the end, he bravely entered.
Professor McGonagall looked up from her book and crisply said, “Mister Potter; is something wrong?”
“No,” James replied, “Not exactly.”
Professor McGonagall surveyed the twelve-year-old for a moment before asking, “Well, can I help you with something?”
James hesitated before saying, “Err…hypothetically…”
“Yes?”
James took a deep breath and it came out all at once, “Hypothetically, if animals can’t be infected with lycanthropy then does that mean that Animagus’ in their animal form won’t be infected as well?”
Professor McGonagall looked petrified.
She slowly removed her glasses.
“Hypothetically, of course,” James weakly said.
“Of course,” Professor McGonagall softly said, “Well…Mister Potter…hypothetically…I’d have to say that that is, indeed, true. However, it is also extremely dangerous to become an Animagus and one cannot officially begin the process until they’re of age.”
James nodded before asking, “And what process is that?”
"Potter-”
“Hypothetically, Professor.”
“Right,” Professor McGonagall skeptically said, “Hypothetically, it is an extremely complicated process. It would take years of hard work.”
“Fascinating,” James innocently said, “And…err…hypothetically…do you know where I might find some books to look up this process? It sounds very interesting.”
Professor McGonagall rubbed her eyes and said, “I have not memorized the layout of the library, Mister Potter. That would be a question for Madam Pince. However, any book that you find will tell you what I already have – that you cannot become an Animagus until you’re the age of seventeen!”
“Of course,” James cried, “I’m just looking hypothetically.”
oOo
James tried not to vomit as he approached Professor McGonagall after class.
“Ah, Potter,” Professor McGonagall cried, “I was hoping to talk to you. You have seemed nauseous for days. I want you to report to Madam Pomfrey for a Pepperup Potion. The flu’s been going around.”
The thirteen-year-old’s eyes widened and he quickly said, “Oh, that’s not necessary.”
He nearly gagged and added, “Professor, hypothetically-“
She groaned.
“-what would you suggest to help rid one’s taste buds of the taste of mandrake leaves?”
It was Professor McGonagall’s turn to have widened eyes.
“Hypothetically, of course.”
Professor McGonagall sighed and curtly said, “Well…hypothetically…I would suggest a bit of mint. Perhaps a bit of chocolate. Potter-“
“Thanks, Professor!”
James made a dart for the door.
“Potter!”
He sighed and turned back.
“Hypothetically,” Professor McGonagall quietly said, “If an underaged wizard were to attempt to become an Animagus and he was caught…he would face severe consequences. Including life in Azkaban.”
James stared at her for a moment.
At long last, he softly said, “Well, hypothetically, I suppose that wizard ought not to get caught then.”
oOo
James frantically knocked on Professor McGonagall’s door.
She whisked it open, sporting a dressing gown. It was, after all, three o’clock in the morning. The fourteen-year-old tried to act nonchalant as he fixed the pointed hat that was strangely perched on his head.
“Good evening, Professor!” James pleasantly said, “How are you?”
“What’s wrong, Potter?”
“Hypothetically-”
“Yes, yes, get on with it!”
She was getting quite sick of the questions; he was asking them almost once a week!
“-how would you get rid of antlers?”
Professor McGonagall stared at him.
“Hypothetically, of course?” Professor McGonagall finally asked.
“Of course.”
She shook her head and said, “Hypothetically, that student would need to Professor Slughorn and ask him to give them a Cornibus potion.”
“Cornibus?” James repeated.
Professor McGonagall nodded.
“Alright, thanks.”
“Potter,” Professor McGonagall quietly said, “Hypothetically…if a student is going to great lengths just to spend one evening a month with his friend, he is a very foolish man.”
James flinched.
Professor McGonagall then smiled and added, “But also a very brave one.”
oOo
James was finding it rather hard to remain calm.
He couldn’t supress the smile that was plastered on his face.
When the bell finally rang, signaling the end of class, he practically leapt out of his seat. Still, he patiently waited as the rest of the students left the classroom.
Professor McGonagall came over and gave him a quizzical look.
James glanced around, ensuring that they were alone.
He leaned forward and quietly said, “Hypothetically…it worked.”
Professor McGonagall’s mouth turned up at the ends.
“Hypothetically, I’m glad,” Professor McGonagall whispered, “And very proud.”
“Thanks, Professor,” James mumbled, “Hypothetically, of course.”
He chuckled and ducked as she swatted at him.
Hypothetically, this is one of my favorite things ever.
I know for a FACT that Severus Snape would be a meninist
Random Toughts 