Tag: ish

What if, when Sam was just little, Dean came home from kindergarten on Sam’s birthday and gave Sam a little stuffed animal he had begged his teacher if he could have because it was his little brother’s birthday and he really wanted to give him something so his teacher let him keep it. It wasn’t very big; just a small, 4 inch tall teddy bear, but Sam loved it and slept with it always wrapped tightly in his fist, so Dean took up the tradition of getting a stuffed toy for Sam every year on his birthday. He knew dad would scold him if the toy was too big, so he made sure to get small ones that could fit in his pocket, if necessary. No matter what was going on between them, Dean always made sure to stop by a Walgreen’s or local thrift store to pick up an animal for Sammy. The year he thought Sam was dead (Dean didn’t like to think about it), he bought an armadillo one holding a little Arizona license plate that had Sam’s name on it and hung it on the mirror of the Impala. When Sam came back, he didn’t touch it, but when his soul was returned to his body, the animal was gone by the next day. The year Dean was in Purgatory, as soon as he put Benny’s soul back into his corpse, he went to the nearest gas station, bought a duck, and stuffed it into Sam’s pocket when they first met up again. And when Sam settled into his own room (finally) in the bunker, Dean snuck in there one night because he thought he’d heard a noise while Sam was in the library, and what he found almost made his bad knee give out. He saw all the stuffed animals, all of them, lined up in even rows along the bookshelf above Sam’s bed. They were organized by the year Dean got them, the now-ratty teddy bear on the top shelf all the way to the left, and the newest one, a fluffy buffalo on a key chain, on the bottom farthest right. Dean spun around to leave and ran into a wall of Sam. Sam steadied him, looked Dean in the eye, asking if he was okay, and then glanced up to see what had startled his big brother. He spotted the toys and blushed slightly, looking younger than he had in ages. Dean marveled at his brother’s face, unable to process.

“You kept them?” Dean whispered, not quite able to speak up.

“…Yeah. I did.” Sam answered uneasily, trying to gauge Dean’s mood.

Dean stared at the floor for a time, trying to put it all together.

“How?” he asked finally. Sam scratched the back of his head, looking anywhere but at Dean.

“I, uh, had ‘em all wrapped up in one of my old t-shirts at the bottom of my duffle.” Sam told him honestly, staring at the wall. Dean finally looked at Sam’s face.

“How’d they all fit?” He demanded, still trying to come to terms with it.

“Why do you think I had to do the laundry so often?” Sam asked depreciatingly, wanting, more than anything, for this conversation to end. Dean’s breath caught, and he stared at his brother’s chest. Sam watched him quietly, not wanting to interrupt Dean’s thinking. Finally, Dean stepped forward and pulled Sam into a tight, unexpected hug. Sam jerked, but brought his arms around Dean hesitantly.

“Thank you, Sam.” Dean whispered against Sam’s collarbone and squeezed tighter.

Sam and Dean (finally) getting together after Sam turns 18, because Dean just had to wait for Sam to be legal, and Sam happily settling into the routine of hunting, sleeping, and having sex with his older brother. But Sam coming back from grabbing dinner for them both after a routine salt and burn at one in the morning to find Dean on their bed with the waitress from the diner where they had had breakfast that morning, and Sam being so confused, wait, they’re not exclusive? But Dean said that Sam was it. He was the end game, no passing go, that was that. Sam certainly wasn’t even allowed to look at girls, let alone touch them. Dean always kicked Sam in the shin when he looked at a waitress for too long and smacked him upside the head for watching the ass in front of them bounce as whatever random girl walked down the street, always punched him in the arm for letting his eyes slip down to a girl’s chest. But Dean was allowed to sleep with other people? How was that fair? Righteous anger filled Sam as he stormed back out the door, dropping dinner on the table as he went. He strode back to the Impala and climbed into the back seat, debating on whether or not he should just leave Dean’s ass there and drive off without him. But Sam’s stuff was still in his duffle in the corner, and his favorite gun was underneath the pillow on his side of the bed.

Sam sulked in the car for well over 2 hours before the waitress stumbled out of their motel room, so drunk that she could barely walk, giggling on her way back to her car. Sam should’ve keyed it or something. After waiting until the girl left the parking lot, Sam skulked back into their room to find Dean passed out on their bed and the food eaten. Sam could smell the booze practically pouring off Dean, and one look at Dean’s blissed out face had all the indignant anger Sam felt whoosh out of him. Dean looked…happy, not like he did whenever he and Sam went at it. He always looked so worried whenever he fucked Sam, his face always drawn tight and his eyes unreadable, and Sam thought Dean was just concentrating, not hiding whatever he was feeling. So Sam packed up his things while Dean snoozed on, pulling his gun out from under Dean’s head without so much as a sleepy snort from Sam’s drunk older brother. Sam left his key on the table next to an empty take out box and quietly left, headed towards the one place he could; Stanford.

An AU where Dean didn’t come pick Sam up from Stanford when John went missing and Sam being able to save Jess from Azazel, only to find that he and Jess just weren’t meant to be and splitting amicably, no hard feelings at all, and Sam getting his degree in Law. And Dean coming to see Sam graduate, little bitch finally getting what he wanted, and Sam dragging Dean back to his apartment to celebrate, and Sam getting totally shitfaced and drunkenly admitting to Dean his not-so-platonic love for Dean and finding out that Dean reciprocated his feelings, and the boys falling together and having happy, giggly sex because damn Sammy why are you so ticklish? and Dean finally sliding home inside his baby brother, breathing hotly against Sam’s neck, trying to keep from hurting Sam, his little Sammy, his, and Sam rocking up into Dean, whispering in Dean’s ear all the things that he kept bottled up whenever he had looked at Dean’s face and thought about kissing him, wanting to so badly, but thinking it was forbidden. Sam laughing giddily because he can finally have what he’s wanted for so long, can’t even imagine how long, Dean, hugging Dean close until they both lose it, snuggling against Dean afterwards, unable to keep his hands to himself because now he didn’t have to, he could touch as much as he wanted.