We need to start analyzing individual men as active perpetrators of patriarchy rather than just innocent “victims” of it. The idea that the patriarchy is a structure that only exists in an abstract way and sometimes possesses “innocent, kindhearted men” to do bad things rather than an inherent & unavoidable part of their position & social programming will not make men unlearn themselves. On the contrary, it will only make them find excuses for their behavior that maintain their innocence.
Assuring men that, when generalizations are made, they are aimed at “the structural masculinity” rather than each and every individual man who inevitably has learned these behaviors only makes men think that their supposed “awareness”, and their tolerance of generalizations absolves them of being the intended target of said generalizations. This, be it consciously or subconsciously, makes them think that their position (though it is the same) is not as harmful as that of other men, and thus that there is not as much harm in their supposedly ”accidental” and “innocent” sexist actions and their consequences. Absolving individual men of collective responsibility enables them to continue with harmful behaviors.
Tag: patriarchy
The thing about patriarchy is that individual men, gay and straight, are often really wonderful people who you love deeply, but they have internalized some really poisonous shit. So every once in a while they say or do something that really shakes you because you’re no longer totally certain they see you as a human being, and you feel totally disempowered to explain that to them.
(via cunicular)
Relevant
(via bisexualpiratequeen)
it feels good to see your pain expressed in words, like soothing
(via blackfeminism)
feministe-radicale-et-bisexuelle:
So this is what trust looks like.
Funny, my first thought was “So this is what the patriarchy looks like.”
Yup. This is how women are supposed to trust men. With their lives.
Woman : “Hey, can we just… Drop the bow?”
Man : “WHY DON’T YOU TRUST ME I’M NOT A VIOLENT GUY, YOU ARE INSULTING ME THINKING I WILL HURT YOU!!!”
Woman : “No it’s just… Well I’m afraid.”
Man : “But why? Look at me, I’m not afraid. And we’re equal, look, we pull the bow together.”
Woman : “I think we’re not equal, you can kill me with the arrow and I can’t.”
Man : “What? So you would like to be able to kill me? You’re so agressive!”
Woman : “That’s not what I mean, we were talking about equality : you can hurt me, I can’t.”
Man : “Of course you can. You can hit me with the bow if you want.”
Woman : “That’s not the same thing, it will never kill you.”
Man : “Oh, you always complaining, stop victimising yourself! Do I talk about the difficulty of holding the arrow? Of the responsibility it giving to me?”[…]
Etc, etc.
Every debates about gender equality, ladies and gentleman.omg the comments. Brilliant.
Random Toughts 