Tag: pffft

gunsandwwands:

dj-gryff:

this one time I ran a red light on mistake and I didn’t notice it was red until it was too late so I just ran the light screeching like an angry pterodactyl the entire time

a cop was at the intersection so he pulled me over and when he came up to my window he was wheezing cause he was laughing so hard and he said

“ok so i know you ran a red light and that’s really bad and you should never do it again but i’m not gonna give you a ticket cause that was the funniest thing i’ve ever seen and my partner can’t get out of the car cause he’s laughing so hard he’s about to pee himself”

i forgot that i’d had my window open when i ran the red light and the cop told me that all he heard from my car was this really high-pitched “screeeeeeeeeeEEEEEEEAAAHHHHHHHHHhhhhhhhhhhhhhh”

and that’s how i got out of getting a ticket for running a red light

this is my favourite story of all time and im probably going to reblog it many times throughout my blog’s lifetime

communistbakery:

nijuukoo:

sheenaduquette:

kurota-haruka:

tsukidaisy:

neuxue:

alltimekxylx:

vacuumssuck:

French person: 80
French person: lol blaze it 

i just 5 to my knees I laughed so hard

this whole post makes me want to 7 something on fire

i’ve had e9 of this

THIS POST DOESN’T MAKE SENSE I DON’T GET IT AND IT MAKES ME ANGRY

Sweet, sweet 17tion.

10 is making me facepalm so hard.

I feel bad for people who don’t know what this 16

angrynerdyblogger:

studying at hogwarts must have been a nightmare seriously can you imagine a recent graduate sitting in a job interview and the stern witch is like “you have no newt qualifications, why is that?” and the graduate slams their fists on the table and yells “BECAUSE DUMBLEDORE FUCKING CANCELLED THE EXAMS BECAUSE SOME TWELVE YEAR OLD KILLED A GIANT SNAKE”