armoldhammer:

i don’t think i could have a bodyguard w/o falling in love with them

  • open doors for me
  • buff
  • quiet/stoic
  • focused on my well-being and safety at all times
  • tall + good posture
  • lean down to whisper at me
  • will not hesitate to punch creeps
  • can and will literally shield me with his whole body

Best Spongebob episodes

heavenbydjsammy:

hotsenator:

  • ripped pants
  • when spongebob has to sleep over under patricks rock and patrick beats spongebob like 50 times in his sleep
  • krusty krab pizza song/WE USED TO RIDE THESE BABIES FOR MILES
  • plankton turns spongebob into a robot and then he rebels
  • FIRMLY GRASP IT
  • i’m in the kitchen…at night/nosferatu 
  • “3 cheers for squidward! hip hip! boo.. hip hip! boo.. hip hip.. BOO YOU STINK”
  • Krusty Krab training video
  • The one where Sandy is into extreme sports and spongebob can’t keep up
  • WHEN THEY THINK THEY KILLED THE HEATH INSPECTOR HOLY SHIT
  • Sandy hibernates
  • Spongebob and patrick try to raise a baby clam 
  • spongebob and patrik paint the invisible boat mobile BLACK
  • onion breath/i’M UGLY..AND I’M PROUD
  • when spongebob and patrick pretend to be squiward when he’s trying to sell his house
  • When spongebob gets sick and patrick tries to cure him
  • WHAT I LEARNED FROM BOATING SCHOOL IS…..
  • CHOOOCCOLLATTEEEEE
  • Spongebob B.C.
  • When they are afraid to go on land but then they go on land and it turns into live action and spongebob is a kitchen sponge
  • SEA BEAR/CAMPFIRE SONG SONG
  • Magic Conch Shell
  • SOILED IT! SOILED IT! SOILED IT! SOILED IT!
  • Spongebob tries to get into the Salty Spitoon
  • FUUUUUTUUREEEE
  • talent show with squidwards interpretive dance
  • the dream episode where spongebob is squidwards clarinet and he goes LAAALAAAALALLALALALA ALAAALAAAAA
  • Kevin and the queen jellyfish
  • Fine dining and breathing
  • Flying Dutchman leedle leddle leedle lee

I literally recognised every single one what the fuck I hate myself