therealcie:

THIS POST WAS WRITTEN BY MY VERY GOOD FRIEND AND WRITING TEAMMATE ADAM FOR OUR WINCEST BLOG. ADAM KNOWS A LITTLE SOMETHING ABOUT PSYCHOLOGY—HE’S GOT A MASTER’S DEGREE. HE’S SMART, COMPASSIONATE, AND WELL WORTH LISTENING TO. I HOPE YOU WILL GIVE HIS WORDS A READ!

Hello friends new and old! I’m Adam. I write under the pen name Adam Everhard. I’m a 47 year old licensed clinical social worker. I’m happily married to Dylan, my wonderful love of the past six years. He’s a physician’s assistant at a low income clinic. We both have some experience working with teens who have experienced incest, and I’ve invited Dylan to put in his two cents worth on this post.

I’m not going to touch on parent-child incest, which is the most common form that we deal with, particularly father-daughter. This is a post all its own. Suffice it to say, this is always very damaging to the girl on the receiving end. Even if she believes herself to have consented, the psychological fallout is always severe.

With sibling incest, the most common kind that Dylan and I encounter is an older brother-younger sister situation. This is also invariably very damaging psychologically. The entire family unit in these situations is an unhealthy entity. Often the victim of coercion is the healthiest member of the family, although she will present as being the most traumatized.

I will touch on the idea of consensual sibling incest. It is rare, but it happens. I don’t tend to deal with people who are in such relationships. The ones I end up dealing with are those who have been damaged by incestuous coercion or rape.

Our Real Cie mentioned the adult film stars Elijah and Milo Peters. They are twin brothers in their twenties who engage in actual sexual contact. They feel they are each other’s soul mates. Their activities are completely consensual. 

Incest is not the norm. Non-consensual incest, like any non-consensual sexual contact, should be prosecuted. Consensual incest tends to be so rare as to not even make a blip on the radar. 

Dylan and I watched the Peters brothers in action. We both agreed that it was like watching any other two hot guys having sex. We were neither turned on nor turned off by the fact that they’re actual blood brothers. One thing we both readily agreed on: they are harming nobody and should not be scorned or ostracized.

I don’t have any brothers. I have two older sisters. Dylan has an older brother. I prepared to be punched when I asked him if he ever considered having sex with his brother. 

He didn’t punch me. He hurt himself laughing. 

Most siblings would react either with horror or complete disbelief at the idea of having sex with their sibling. Real life incest does not appeal to the majority of people.

So, let us try to answer the question: what is the appeal of Wincest?

For some Wincest shippers, the focus is two hot guys boning. So, why aren’t there a lot more Damon/Stefan (Salvatore brothers) ships? Those are two hot guys. Some people ship them, but not nearly as many as ship Wincest.

Wincest is not about hot-dude-incest. Wincest is actually a romantic ideal. It is about finding the one person who loves you above and beyond anyone else even though they know just how damaged you are. Wincest is about love prevailing in spite of horrifying personal misfortune. Wincest is about love that rises above and defies social convention. Although most Wincest shippers seem to be women, for a gay man like me, it’s a beautiful love story.

Gay people do not have many places to turn where we could find such a love story. The Supernatural creative team is sitting on a potential gold mine that will never be tapped because homophobia is still so prevalent in modern society. This could be a wonderful story with a happy ending where two extremely damaged people find love in one another’s arms. That will not be the outcome, but it could be.

I would love to see the incest angle actually brought to life and dealt with in a loving manner, but it never will be. Barring that, as our Real Cie pointed out, the creative team would have an easy way to allow a homosexual relationship to exist between Dean and Sam. Simply have them find out that they aren’t actually biologically related. This will never happen either, but if it did, it would open the door to a thing of beauty.

In any case, the whole “Wincest is gross because ew, you pervs just want to see incest sex” argument is a straw man argument. Wincest is not actually about incest. It is, in its most basic form, a romantic ideal. The Love Against All Odds story is hardly a new one. 

Most people who like Wincest would be horrified if their own real-life sister or brother made a pass at them. Real life incest tends to squick people out. There is a knee-jerk reaction against sex with close relatives. 

To wrap things up:

Wincest is not about actual incest. It is a Love Against All Odds trope.

Those getting up in arms about it are throwing punches at straw men. They need to find a real cause.

Personally, I’m all for Sam and Dean getting together. It would be a thing of beauty. Alas, we live in a world where love wins out so seldom. In mainstream media, it hardly ever does for homosexual couples. When we aren’t being utterly ignored, we are stereotyped. For now, canon gay couples are few and far between. 

Dear Wincest shippers, there is nothing wrong with what you envision. Execute your work with love. Who knows, maybe in another fifty years, what you do will make an actual difference for future generations.

Love,

Adam